Umbrella ella ella eh eh eh Under my umbrella etc.

FYI Umbrellas are worthless when it rains sideways.

To combat this I put my umbrella sideways to block the feisty windy rainy mess attacking me...which in turn also blocks my sight... which is a bad idea on the streets of Manhattan.
Near death experiences this morning taught me to be happy that I am just wet... very wet. and now...very cold.
It will be ironic when this wetness that I should be thankful for turns into an illness that kills me.
Well if that doesn't get you thinking...I don't know what will.

ALSO, WARNING/CAUTION
People with deadly pointy umbrellas...keep them away from the money maker. You almost poked my eye out. And I almost poked you back. watch it.

This might be a safer/even more worthless option to prevent soakage.  What an invention...