Saturday, October 22, 2011

The Amtrak story...

I was reading through old comments and remembered that I forgot to share my Amtrak story...
Are you ready for this ridiculousness?

To refresh- Cooper and Crew were visiting and I was going home to Boston with them to supervise while my parents were out of town...

We arrive at Penn Station early and get our tickets. I hand them to the boys and tell them "Do NOT Lose These." They are 16 and 18 years old so you would think they could follow simple orders...
The boys go grab some smoothies and donuts etc. for the train ride while I buy a Elle Decor and House Beautiful and then we wait to see what track we will be on.
Right when the track number is announced Cooper runs off to save seats on the train because we knew with the stroller I would lag behind. Crew and I are about to go down the elevator when he screams "I lost my ticket" and he runs away.
I am standing there by the elevator having zero idea of what to do next.  Cooper is on the train. Crew is missing and so is his ticket. And if I don't get on the elevator now I will surely miss the train.  Quite the predicament.
I get on the elevator and go to the train just in case Crew makes it down. I keep trying to call Crew to tell him to GET ON THE *(@(#(()($@#  TRAIN! But I cannot get ahold of him. Have zero idea where he is.
I get me and Eloise on the train and start begging the conductor to hold the train for ONE MINUTE for my little brother.  He says no. "PLEASE! Just one minute!? He is here and running down! He is only 15!" He says no again. "SERIOUSLY! JUST ONE MINUTE!!! I Can't get off because my other brother is on the train somewhere saving seats and I can't leave the other one behind! PLEASE!!" He says no again. "HEY EVERYONE RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU CARE IF WE WAIT ONE MINUTE FOR MY LITTLE BROTHER!!" people staring at me... "Sir, trains are late all the time. If he is not here in one minute I will get off the train." He shuts the doors. "OK LET ME OFF! I CAN'T LEAVE MY LITTLE BROTHER!"
Just as I go to get off the train I freeze... I am paralyzed. what if Crew runs down right this second? Then we both miss the train! Or what if he is already on the train and I get off for no reason?...  SO I just stand there in the door and the conductor cannot shut the door on me and my child.
I am just standing there calmly. Just talking to Eloise ... Thinking I really hope Crew comes soon and they don't kick me off the train... (All of this happened in ONE MINUTE)
Then all of a sudden Crew jumps on the train. He saw me because I was standing halfway off the train...
When we get back on I realize the conductor is on the phone with the police complaining about a crazy lady blocking the doorway with her baby carriage (that is what stupid conductors call strollers. and FYI the stroller was OFF the train and I was in the doorway... just to be clear)
I say "Thanks for waiting 1 minute! We can go now! :)" The conductor says, "You say that now after I called the police" "Well that was unnecessary" Meanwhile a woman train lady starts yapping about what a horrible mother I am... I got a little Real Housewives at that moment and started saying things like "oh no you didn't!" (not really. well, kind of)
Then Crew and I leave the stupid conductors to go find Cooper and sit down. Then I tell Cooper what happened really loudly so the people of the train hear my side of the story before the police come find me and make the train even more delayed...
Then at least 10 police officers- WITH DOGS- start running around the train. One comes down our aisle and I stop her and say, "I think you guys are looking for me"... 5 seconds later the conductor comes in and screams, "THERE SHE IS! There is the crazy lady that needs a talking to"... Oh brother.
The police escort me off the train. I wanted to pull another reality TV moment and start screaming "GET YO HANDS OFF ME. DO NOT TOUCH ME!"... but I refrained and said "Are you kicking me off the train because I have a baby on board and cannot leave without her."  But we just had a little chat. And the police just told me to apologize to the man so the train could get on its way. And I said "I am sorry. I definitely did not want any of this to happen. I just needed to get my brother on the train. I am really sorry I delayed everyone 1 minute. And I am sorry you called the cops and delayed everyone 20 minutes." He started going off about me putting my child in danger... and miraculously I stayed very calm and said- "You know my child was not in danger. you are just saying that now you are mad at me. And getting personal about my parenting is not okay with me."
Anyway, I went back to my seat. Next to my little brothers and my baby. And the train was on its way. Somehow we all made it on.... and somehow we didn't get kicked off.  And luckily we didn't get kicked off again when the conductor came down the aisle and we had to explain that Crew didn't actually have his ticket....

Luckily Eloise was smiley and cute to everyone so they didn't hate us even more for having a whiny baby on the train. (That was the train ride before when a woman made me cry and a nice man gave Eloise his iPad to play with because she was being so bad... and his kindness made me cry again)

13 comments:

Shanna said...

OMG. There are so many points of that story that I thought: "i have no idea what I would do if that were me. ". Way to be tough. I would be in tears.

Mandy said...

You need to blog more often. I love reading your stories. Glad yout trip turned out okay.

The Nixon Family said...

That is a great story!

Stacie said...

Oh my gosh. I will think twice next time I find myself complaining about how bad Ivy does in her carseat. Kudos!

Lizzie said...

I just have to make a comment because this is the best story I've heard in a long time. I could not stop laughing/screaming while reading it. JT said "Taylor did everything perfectly." You totally handled it. For sure I would have cried. Way to go.

Meagan said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Why does that all make PERFECT sense to me?

Erica said...

This post gave me anxiety! You handled that so well! annnd. I can't believe he really called the cops on you! IDIOT.

jessica said...

hahaha i love you for that whole story.

Granum Family said...

really.... you need to write a book. and i would have been in tears as well and not had the guts to stand in the doorway. go tay!!!!

shannon said...

love it!

mindy said...

oh my gosh! at least the story didnt end with you having to go to the police to find your lost brother! man o man...brave woman! & yes...i vote MORE POSTS!!

Dee Dee Cox said...

WOW

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